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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29099004">what it would mean</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineDaysies/pseuds/SunshineDaysies'>SunshineDaysies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All the sex apparently, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bratty Rey (Star Wars), Breeding Kink, Cum Marking, Cunnilingus, Deepthroating, Degradation, Dirty Talk, Doggy Style, Dom/sub, Dominant Ben Solo, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Bond Sexual Situations (Star Wars), Force Bond Shenanigans (Star Wars), Hair-pulling, If only there was some way for them to communicate better, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Light Choking, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Pining, No Pregnancy, Nonverbal Communication, Nonverbal Consent, Okay so maybe Kylo Ren is nice, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Kinkuary, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Bed, Soft sex, Spanking, Submissive Rey (Star Wars), THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Teasing, The Force Ships It, They are both mad sad and horny, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Consent, angsty sex, but he really really wanted to be, but its VERY MILD, not TROS compliant, so yes technically, waking up together</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:14:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,408</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29099004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineDaysies/pseuds/SunshineDaysies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been five months since the Battle of Crait. Five torturously long months of Rey trying, and mostly failing, to close off the Force-bond between her and Kylo Ren.</p>
<p><em>Ben Solo.</em> </p>
<p>There was something different this time though, about how the connection decided to manifest itself into her day. Instead of interrupting her while she was training, or meditating, or just eating her kriffing dinner, it chose to catch her off guard in a completely new way. Because for the first time ever the bond opened up while Rey was asleep.</p>
<p>While they were <em>both</em> asleep.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kinkuary Prompt Challenge, ReylOlds</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <br/>
    
    <br/>
  </p>
</div>This is my submission for the Reylo Kinkuary Challenge. Nothing like waiting until the last day to post!<p><strong>Prompt #2 -</strong> A kink I've never written before: dom/sub, degradation, anal sex (most of them really).<br/><strong>Prompt #6 -</strong> Combine two kinks I wouldn't think go together: angsty/emotional sex &amp; rough sex/degradation.</p>
<p>Thank you SO much to Nikki aka  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitegalaxies/pseuds/infinitegalaxies">infinitegalaxies</a> aka the smut queen of my heart, for letting me turn the tables and having her beta for me this time. And for the GORGEOUS moodboard too!!</p>
<p>Also, thank you to fairy kinkmother <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElegyGoldsmith/pseuds/ElegyGoldsmith">ElegyGoldsmith</a> for giving this another set of eyes. I really appreciate it!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been five months since the Battle of Crait. Five torturously long months of Rey trying, and mostly failing, to close off the Force-bond between her and Kylo Ren.</p>
<p>
  <em>Ben Solo.</em>
</p>
<p>There was something different this time though, about how the connection decided to manifest itself into her day. Instead of interrupting her while she was training, or meditating, or just eating her kriffing dinner, it chose to catch her off guard in a completely new way. Because for the first time ever the bond opened up while Rey was asleep.</p>
<p>While they were <em>both</em> asleep.</p>
<p>She had wondered, feared, <em>hoped,</em> that it would happen eventually. That fate would intervene, forcing them to confront each other in the most intimate of settings, skin touching skin, but not in a violent way — or well, not an entirely violent way. </p>
<p>Their other encounters via the bond had left her rattled, white-hot with anger as she berated him for refusing to save the Resistance fleet <em>— her friends —</em> after Snoke’s death. For continuing his quest to destroy the Rebellion and impose his rule over the galaxy. For choosing power and the Dark Side. </p>
<p>For <em>not</em> choosing the path to her.</p>
<p>In contrast, he was usually so calm during their involuntary convergences, waiting for her temper to burn out like a dying star. Only ever striking his lightsaber against hers in defense when she got frustrated at his seemingly cool composure, at how unaffected he could appear. </p>
<p>Upon stirring, Rey immediately felt his presence and closed her mind to his, her instinctive reaction now whenever the bond would activate. She’d felt the connection growing with each encounter, as though the universe was intentionally pushing them back together. </p>
<p>They were still unable to use their powers offensively or to purposefully pry into each other’s minds, but the Force seemed to be doing that for them anyway. Each time she could sense his emotions more potently, could perceive his thoughts more clearly.</p>
<p>And the telepathic conduit flowed both ways, in equal measure.</p>
<p>When she roused fully, she saw that they were both lying on their sides facing the other, but not close enough to touch. </p>
<p>Yet.</p>
<p>He must’ve come to just before she did because he was staring openly at her, eyes full of wonderment and lust as they swept up and down, drinking in her uncovered form. </p>
<p>Even in her dimly lit private quarters, deep within the massive cave that housed the Resistance base, the heat and humidity of Ajan Kloss was unrelenting, causing her to often sleep in only her underthings. At some point she had thrown off her thin blanket as well, leaving her almost entirely exposed to him. </p>
<p>Her chest tightened and her blood rushed, coloring her skin pink and pounding in her ears, but she also took her time, letting her eyes wander leisurely over the broad surface of his powerful body, clad only in his boxer briefs. </p>
<p>There was <em>so much</em> of him to look at, but something in particular caught her attention. Without thinking, her hand reached out to touch the scar on his chest, the one that she had put there, forever marking him. </p>
<p><em>As mine,</em> her thoughts supplied, even as she tried to deny it.</p>
<p>He inhaled sharply at the contact, as though her fingers had seared him the same way her lightsaber had. Rey hastily pulled away, feeling rejected and ridiculous, but his hand was already there, bringing hers back to flatten against his chest, causing her to stare at him wide-eyed with shock. </p>
<p>“Tell me where you are.” </p>
<p>His low voice was an obvious attempt to sound authoritative, but a thread of desperation was laced into his command. When she didn’t answer he let go of her wrist to prop himself up on his forearm.</p>
<p>He gazed down at her intently, causing her breath to catch in her throat. She absolutely did not trust herself with words right now, didn’t trust her voice to not betray her into revealing just how much he had broken her heart in the throne room of the Supremacy that day. </p>
<p>How much it still breaks for him. </p>
<p>Defiant to the end, she set her jaw and turned to lie directly on her back so that she could stare him down in return, the heat in their hazel eyes a matching inferno. </p>
<p><em>How fitting,</em> she thought, that their color, shades of honey brown or greenish grey, seemed to shift depending on his location or lighting, or perhaps even his mood.</p>
<p>Maybe it was just the soft glow from his own quarters, on whatever Star Destroyer he was currently residing, but right now they were a storm of murky grey, broken only by streaks of gold as he peered down at her, his breaths near enough to intermingle with her own. </p>
<p>She wondered if he would kiss her. She wondered if she wanted him to. </p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>And no. </p>
<p>With his tempting lips so close to her own now, she couldn’t help the glances she sent down to them, but then immediately regretted how easily she just gave herself away.</p>
<p>“Tell me where you are.” </p>
<p>His words were the same, but this time it was an urgent whisper, completely giving up the pretense now that he wasn’t outright pleading with her.</p>
<p>“You know I won’t do that,” she finally answered, her voice slightly hoarse from underuse in the dead of night.</p>
<p>Changing tactics, he responded to her body language instead of her words.</p>
<p>“And what <em>will</em> you do?” </p>
<p>His eyes flickered suggestively down to her lips and then to her breasts, but fast enough that she might have missed it if she hadn’t been studying his face as though she might never see him again. </p>
<p>Because what if she <em>did</em> never see him again? </p>
<p>It was a question, a possibility, that she couldn’t bring herself to examine further for fear of what feelings it might force her to come to terms with. </p>
<p>“Ben.”</p>
<p>His answering touch was light, tentative, as the pads of his fingers ghosted over her bare abdomen, causing her muscles to contract and her lips to open in a quiet gasp. </p>
<p>But she didn’t stop him. </p>
<p>And so his touch became less tentative, exploring the soft, but dewy skin of her stomach, hips, and waist. Feather-light caresses flirted with the edges of her underwear and breast band. All the while he was intently watching her reactions. </p>
<p>Reactions that she desperately willed herself not to have. </p>
<p>Her body had a will of its own though. Heavy breaths filled her chest, goosebumps shot out across her skin, and if nothing else, her face was a dead giveaway now, the desperate longing that laid deep within now brought to surface in her widening pupils.</p>
<p>“Do you want this?” he implored, not hiding the disbelief nor the eagerness in his voice.</p>
<p>She swallowed thickly, then took a deep breath, fortifying herself against the scorching heat of his brazen desire, while not considering <em>what</em> her answer would be, but rather <em>how</em> she would give it. </p>
<p>Because, <em>stars,</em> did she want this, more than she’d ever allow herself to admit to anyone. </p>
<p>Which was why she decided to send her own desire for him across the bond, creating the first weakness in her mental blockade — because she couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. </p>
<p>His eyes flashed as though electrified, and his large hand curled possessively into her waist, all but confirming that his side of their cosmic link had been kept open, or at least more so than hers. </p>
<p>It was an unintended consequence of her reckless action, the realization of what it might mean. That he was still waiting for her, was still hoping. </p>
<p>
  <em>We can rule together…</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Join me.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Please.</em>
</p>
<p>A stab of panic tore through her gut, and so she made another rash decision.</p>
<p>“But don’t be nice to me.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” his brows furrowed. “Afraid you’ll see something in me that you don’t want to?” </p>
<p>She said nothing, other than to maintain his challenging gaze. It was soft, yet piercing, almost undoing her entirely in how he could see right through her no matter the state of their Force connection. </p>
<p>Leaning in closer, he splayed his hand firmly over one side of her ribcage while pressing his weight and his warmth into her — as well as his growing arousal. Her lips parted in surprise again, drawing his fiery attention to them. </p>
<p>Time stood still while she watched him look longingly down at her mouth, but a low chuckle, instead of a kiss caressed her skin.</p>
<p> “Afraid that if I make love to you, you won't be so ashamed of the things that you feel for me? Of what it would mean?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes.</em>
</p>
<p>“No,” she jerked her head in defiance, holding her breath and waiting for what felt like a lifetime for him to reply to her obvious lie, his jaw working while he contemplated his palpable internal conflict over how to respond to her. </p>
<p>“This isn’t your firs—”</p>
<p>“No,” she answered harshly, looking away to feign annoyance at the presumption in his question, when <em>really</em> she was just loath to admit it to him. That after the Supremacy, and then Crait, she was so hurt, so angry at him, that she had slept with— </p>
<p>Turning her head back to regard the man before her now, the one she had <em>really</em> wanted, she saw that he was still just looking at her, a slight frown marring his features, like he couldn’t decide which bluff to call her on. </p>
<p>Unsure of what he might do or say next, she put forth her second requirement — if they were really going to do this — but her voice was back to its quiet tone, “Just don’t come inside me.”</p>
<p>He smirked out an amused laugh, and then moved his hand to palm at her breast, pulling the cloth band down to thumb at the hardened little peak.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I won’t come in your cunt.”</p>
<p>She whimpered at the sudden stimulation, and at what he was implying, that he wanted to mark her as well, but in an entirely different way. And Rey found herself wanting whatever he was going to give her — to do to her. She gave him a little nod and murmured, “Wherever else you want.”</p>
<p>A wolfish smile tugged at the corner of his sinful lips, right before he lowered his head and sucked her waiting nipple into his incredible mouth. </p>
<p>“Oh—!” she squealed, her hands making their way into that luscious hair of his that she’d dreamt of touching for so long. </p>
<p>He continued his attention at her breasts, kissing and sucking and teasing, all while the rest of his body moved to cover hers. </p>
<p>The fervor of his breath and his lips felt phenomenal as he progressed up her chest to her neck and then the underside of her jawline. His broad, strong shoulders formed a pale sky between her and the rest of the galaxy. </p>
<p>And it was absolutely perfect.</p>
<p>Too perfect. </p>
<p>Her eyes popped open and her heart constricted in fear. She didn’t want — didn’t think she could handle having even a drop of his tenderness, just to go back to the way things were, to go back to not having him at all. She’d rather have every ounce of his rage. </p>
<p>Bruises would heal much faster than a shattered heart. </p>
<p>“Wait.” </p>
<p>He pulled back immediately, panting and looking down at her, waiting, just like she had told him to. </p>
<p>“I said don’t be nice to me,” she whispered breathily, regretting it as soon as the damned words left her tongue. </p>
<p>Dread and a shameless excitement blazed a path through her veins as a cold darkness swept over his face like a mask, turning his voice to stone. </p>
<p>“Then get up, and get on your knees.”</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Without a word, Rey moved to obey his stern command, causing a lewd thrill to race down Kylo’s spine as he stood up on the side of his bed to loom over her. Seeing her, the scavenger, practically naked and kneeling before him — so willing, so obedient — was just as erotic and breathtaking as it was agonizing and infuriating. </p>
<p>Because it was all a lie. </p>
<p>Her submission wasn’t a gift, it was just a part she was playing so that she didn’t have to face her true fears — that he wasn’t Dark, and she wasn’t Light, but that they were both variants of Gray. </p>
<p>It was also an unintentional reminder of the way he had looked down at her in that little escape pod. When she had literally shipped herself to him. </p>
<p>When it hadn’t all been a lie. </p>
<p>And then, of course, when she had stared up at him and begged for her life, begged for him to choose her — and he did.</p>
<p>And <em>this</em> is what that choice had given him. A fleeting encounter that may or may not ever happen again, may or may not even mean anything.</p>
<p>So yes, he was going to give her <em>exactly</em> what she had asked of him. </p>
<p>But Kylo wasn’t so caught up in his whirlwind of emotions to not notice the amazing curve of her ass or the soft bounce of her perfect little tits while she moved from her back to her knees. </p>
<p>Kriff, he wanted to taste them again, run his tongue over the entirety of her once forbidden body. There was still a chance he’d get to, their Force connections were lasting longer and longer each time.</p>
<p>Or maybe, <em>hopefully,</em> next time. </p>
<p>Right now though, the pounding in his chest was threatening to crack him wide open, but somehow he managed to maintain a cool visage of indifference as she blinked up at him. </p>
<p>He raised an expectant brow down at her — and then to his obvious erection. </p>
<p>“Well?”</p>
<p>Sitting back onto her heels, Rey took in a steadying breath, keeping her eyes locked onto his while she slid her hands up his thighs. Slowly, she curled her fingers into the waistband of his briefs to pull them down. </p>
<p>Surprise, and mild trepidation, was evident on her face at seeing him, at seeing the <em>size</em> of him, and Kylo’s chest puffed up with a small victory, knowing that he was at least bigger than whatever prick she had given herself to before. </p>
<p>Her little hand couldn’t even fit around it as she brought the shaft to her mouth, licked a slow stripe up the underside and then swirled her tongue around the tip, closing her eyes and humming her enjoyment as she tasted his precum. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” he hissed. </p>
<p>His fists unclenched immediately to tangle into her hair, not caring in the slightest that he was bringing ruin to those three little buns that he loved and hated so much. A small but satisfied grin crossed her lips right before she took him into her mouth and started sucking. </p>
<p>And <em>Force,</em> it felt amazing, fucking incredible and surreal all at the same time. He still couldn't believe this was actually happening, that she was touching him, pleasuring him.</p>
<p>The warm bliss had his eyelids heavy and his head falling back in a low groan, but then he felt an unexpected flicker of pride mixed with lust and even a little amusement shoot through a tiny crack in the armor she always put up to keep him out of her head. </p>
<p>Moreover, the way she was looking up at him, watching him fall apart while she bobbed up and down on his length, confirmed it, telling Kylo that he had already fucked up. <em>He</em> was supposed to be the one in charge here. How easily he had let his control slip through the feel of her lips on him. </p>
<p>His fingers coiled tightly into her hair and he thrust into her experimentally. “You like that?” he rasped, “Like what that slutty little mouth does to me?”</p>
<p>Her eyes widened a fraction, before she let out a stifled moan, one hand cupping his balls as the other worked the base of him, where she hadn’t been able — or hadn’t tried to take him further. </p>
<p>And suddenly, Kylo was struck with an idea far too tempting to pass up.</p>
<p>“Put your hands behind your back, and keep your mouth on my cock — where it belongs.” </p>
<p>She complied, one hand taking hold of the opposite wrist behind her while her lips stayed where he wanted them, his hands having stopped her from pulling all the way off of him while she readjusted.</p>
<p>“I’m going to fuck that little mouth of yours, and you’re going to open up your side of the bond, just enough so that I can sense if — so at any time you can tell me to stop,” he paused, still tentative even as he tried to maintain his dominant veneer. “If that’s what you want.”</p>
<p>It was a wicked, brilliant plan. Having her gag on his cock was the first thing to cross his mind when she told him not to be nice to her. </p>
<p>But this? </p>
<p>Persuading her, however dubiously, to lower her defenses to him, even just a little bit, was supremely satisfying.</p>
<p>Though, also somewhat nerve-wracking too, as neither of them were even remotely ready to allow the other full access to their consciousness. This meant that Kylo would have to carefully rescind some of his own already intentionally feeble blockade in order for him to both feel her emotions and allow her to feel his — what he <em>chose</em> to let her feel anyway. </p>
<p>Easing some of her wariness and animosity towards him was a goal he’d been working towards for months, but it had proven futile no matter how well he kept his cool whenever the Force elicited to bring them together across space and time. This could be the first real step in convincing her to stop shutting herself off from him. </p>
<p>The first step in making sure he didn’t lose her forever. </p>
<p>He was going to push her though, her boundaries <em>and</em> her temper. See how much she would let him provoke her until she <em>had</em> to open herself up to him — or perhaps, she would get so lost in the moment that she would let her defenses slip naturally. </p>
<p>It was also practical, dammit, and really rather considerate, he rationalized with himself. He had no intention of being overly careful with her, per her <em>very</em> clear demand, but he didn’t want to actually hurt her. And he didn't want to give her cause to worry that he ever would.</p>
<p>At least, not again.</p>
<p>She blinked a few times, then after several beats that felt like an eternity, nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>
  <em>So predictable.</em>
</p>
<p>“No, <em>send</em> me that thought.”</p>
<p>She glared up at him, face still half-stuffed with his cock — and it was the most beautiful and obscene thing he had ever witnessed. </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>Fine.</strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>“See? That wasn’t so hard,” he smirked. </p>
<p>A spark of her irritation pulsed through just as he undid the ties in her hair, loosening the three knots entirely so that now he could have a fistful of her chestnut strands in each hand. </p>
<p>And then thrust into her, grunting as his cock hit the back of her throat, but only enough to strangle the whimper it evoked from her. He worked his way deeper into her each time, letting her learn how to relax around him. </p>
<p>Finally, he pushed in until her nose was buried in the patch of black hair at his base. Then he held her there, just for a moment, savoring the exquisite feel of her throat swallowing around him.</p>
<p>“Fuck!” </p>
<p>A tiny ripple of nervous, excited desire made its way to his mind as he pulled her head back, stopping right before her lips met the tip, and right before he let go of all his restraint. He was already so close, this wasn’t going to last long anyway. </p>
<p>He bucked into her fast and rough. Over and over again, until she was crying and drooling and gagging. </p>
<p>But she didn’t stop him, not via their now marginally open connection, and not even with her hands after they left their nonexistent bonds to hold tightly onto the back of his thighs. Spurred on by her silent assent, his hands and his hips gave her no reprieve, and she moaned all the louder for it. </p>
<p>“Fuck — such a good little slut, surrendering to me, letting me — use that feral little mouth to—”</p>
<p>He grunted loudly as he pulled out, one hand still in her hair, the other tugging his release until his cum was shooting out, sputtering in time with his deep moans, painting her naked chest with his spend.</p>
<p>Just like he had promised her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A debauched mess is what Rey imagined she must look like right now — panting heavily, hair sticking out every which way, her skin covered in tears, saliva, sweat, and cum. </p>
<p>However, the way that he was staring down at her, chest heaving and eyes alight, she had never felt more beautiful, alive, or wanted. All emotions that she had little experience with anyway, but no one had ever made her feel all of them at once. </p>
<p>No one except him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <br/>
    
    <br/>
  </p>
</div>A thousand thank you’s to my wonderful beta Nikki aka  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitegalaxies/pseuds/infinitegalaxies">infinitegalaxies</a> for all of her support and encouragement when I had a tiny bit of writer’s block with a couple parts in this chapter!<p>And again, thank you to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElegyGoldsmith/pseuds/ElegyGoldsmith">ElegyGoldsmith</a> for taking a peek at this and giving me such delightful feedback!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A debauched mess is what Rey imagined she must look like right now — panting heavily, hair sticking out every which way, her skin covered in tears, saliva, sweat, and cum. </p>
<p>However, the way that he was staring down at her, chest heaving and eyes alight, she had never felt more beautiful, alive, or wanted. All emotions that she had little experience with anyway, but no one had ever made her feel all of them at once. </p>
<p>No one except him.</p>
<p><em>He</em> certainly looked magnificent, towering above her like this, every inch the Dark Prince that he was. But despite his harsh facade, he had sent — or maybe had been unable to stop — flashes of his own lust and awe spiraling back through the bond as he used her, and then his rampaging pleasure when he climaxed.</p>
<p>She was thankful that those were the only feelings he let slide through, because in spite of her attempt to control how much she opened her side to him, she knew that she had slipped up a few times while in the literal palm of his hand. Their physical desire for each other was the only kind of emotional transference she felt she could handle at the moment. </p>
<p>Or probably ever. </p>
<p>She enjoyed it though, all of it, having his beautiful cock in her mouth, listening to his moans and his filthy words. His filthy thoughts. She even felt it a little. Tiny remnants of his orgasm twisting and shuddering throughout her body. </p>
<p>Though after the shared euphoria left her, the only thing she was left with was the well of regret that boiled up inside of her for what they could never have. That they’d never be able to fully explore this unique and remarkable thing that intertwined their souls. </p>
<p>It was a cruel joke the universe had played on them. Connecting the minds of two intensely lonely people just for them to push each other away. For them to be so compatible in some ways, but not in the ways that really mattered.</p>
<p>But Rey made sure not to send <em>any</em> of those thoughts or feelings across the two way road between them, as she had hurriedly — and remorsefully — sealed her fragile walls back into place the moment he was spent. </p>
<p>He was still gazing down at her reverently, his breaths almost back to normal, but within the span of a few seconds he seemed to remember himself, to remember why she was on her knees, coated in his cum in the first place.</p>
<p>His expression turned hard — and even harder to decipher — as he reached down to run two fingers through his release, slowly smearing it over her lips and tongue before gathering more to trail it diagonally across her cheek and then down the side of her neck and chest. </p>
<p>Just the <em>idea</em> of what he was doing made every nerve ending of hers that he touched feel like it was on fire, as though he was actually burning into her skin a depraved reflection of the thin line that branded his own face.</p>
<p>But the weapon he held on his fingertips now seemed to be the more dangerous of the two, having been drawn out of him by her. It made her vulnerable, showed that she cared a lot more than she let on no matter how hard she tried to fight it. </p>
<p>He swallowed heavily, but his intonation stayed steady as a glacier, “I suppose we’re even now.” </p>
<p>As stunned as she was, her mouth dropped open to say something, <em>what</em> she had no idea, but his cold voice preemptively cut her off anyway. </p>
<p>“Turn around.”</p>
<p>Her already racing heartbeat quickened even more, soaring through her bloodstream like a starship as she followed his command, swiftly turning to crawl onto her hands and knees. She then craned her neck to look back at him. </p>
<p>“Stay like that, but put your face and chest down into the bed.” </p>
<p>He kept his expression impassive, but the devilish glint in his eye made Rey acutely aware that he was purposefully making her rub his cum into the bedsheet before it dried on her skin. Ensuring that a piece of him, that <em>that</em> piece of him, stayed here with her long after he was gone.</p>
<p>Like he was staking his claim over her. </p>
<p>A combination of both mortification and exhilarating satisfaction bloomed inside of her as she relaxed her upper torso into the mattress. But she felt anything but relaxed in this now even more vulnerable position, offering up the most intimate part of her without hardly being able to see what would be done to it.</p>
<p>In the short time that she lay there exposed, ass high in the air, waiting for him to do <em>whatever</em> he was going to do to her, Rey had never been more grateful for this secluded space that she had from the rest of the Rebels. </p>
<p>Her mind then couldn't help but to imagine what his own bedroom might look like right now. How safe and secure it was, how big his bed was, or the color of his sheets. </p>
<p><em>Black probably,</em> she mused. </p>
<p>She wondered if there was a window looking out across the stars. Somewhere his focus could drift when he was alone and <em>not</em> staring down at her presenting herself to him like some kind of indecent gift in his own bed. </p>
<p>Her panties were already thoroughly drenched, but the full realization that to <em>his</em> eyes she was in <em>his</em> bed right now sent another trickle of desire out of her, right as he positioned himself behind her, his knees in between her spread legs. </p>
<p>“So wet.” </p>
<p>A large hand rounded over her bottom, squeezing her flesh while the other one ran a finger over her clothed sex. “Completely soaked through.” </p>
<p>She bit her lower lip to stifle a whine.</p>
<p>Without any more preamble, he shoved her underwear down and she shifted so that he could slide them off, leaving her completely naked save for the thin breast band that lay forgotten around her waist. </p>
<p>Her breath hitched in heightened anticipation. Was he just going to fuck her now? Was he hard again already? She didn’t have a ton of experience, but enough to know that— </p>
<p>A soft cry left her throat as one, and then almost immediately, two thick fingers breached her embarrassingly slick entrance, twisting and sinking all the way in easily with each stroke.</p>
<p>“So fucking wet, already so ready,” he murmured, seemingly to himself, his tempo increasing with each whimper and breathy sigh she let out until he was penetrating her with three digits, blatantly preparing her to take him. </p>
<p>It was a gesture she hadn’t predicted considering her caveat for all this, but she certainly wasn’t going to stop him <em>now. </em></p>
<p>Maybe she could handle some of his ‘niceness’ after all.</p>
<p>His other hand, the one that had been massaging her backside, reached around and swiftly found her clit while the fingers inside of her suddenly curled to press in a way that she’d never experienced before, making her moan louder than expected. She felt like she might black out from the mind-blowing sensations he was drawing out of her, she was so close to the edge now. </p>
<p>“Mmm you like that, baby?” he crooned in a suspiciously soft voice.</p>
<p>A breathy, high pitched, “Mmhm,” was all she could manage, his hands having thrown her thoughts into the depths of the dark paradise he was giving her, unable to focus on anything else.</p>
<p>Soon her fists were clutching at the blanket and her eyes were screwed shut in a hyper-focused concentration on chasing her release. She inhaled a shuddered breath and then held it, ready to let go, to fall right over the precipice of— </p>
<p>But then his touch left her entirely. </p>
<p>She cried out in protest immediately, lifting her head, “No wait! I’m—”</p>
<p>“Don’t get up.”</p>
<p>“But—“</p>
<p>She yelped, mostly in surprise, when his open hand laid across her ass cheek in a harsh smack. </p>
<p>“And don’t question me.”</p>
<p>She was fuming, but didn’t utter another word as she threw herself back down into the humiliating position. </p>
<p>
  <em>How dare him?</em>
</p>
<p>Except she knew why.</p>
<p>Still, it didn’t lessen her frustration for her stolen orgasm. This was <em>not</em> what she had in mind when she told him to not be nice to her. She wanted him to use her, to fuck her roughly and make her sore all over. Make her forget that he wasn’t nearly the monster she had previously judged him to be. </p>
<p>Not show her how amazing he could make her feel just to tear it away. </p>
<p>
  <em>What a vindictive bastard.</em>
</p>
<p>She huffed out a loud breath and scowled at the wall in an unspoken protest, letting him know that she wasn't going to lie there entirely docile. His self-satisfied laugh in response was pure sin while his hands kneaded into her round bottom like he owned her, the sting of his slap lingering only in her mind. </p>
<p>“Just do as you’re told, like the good little Jedi slut you are—”</p>
<p>It was telling that of the two epithets, Rey bristled at him calling her <em>Jedi</em> far more than she did <em>slut.</em> She didn't feel like much of a Jedi, and it wasn’t just because she was giving in to so much fear and passion tonight. </p>
<p>“—and I’ll give you <em>exactly</em> what you want.”</p>
<p>The words might sound like a promise, if it weren’t for the ominous tinge turning them into a threat. Taking another deep breath, she resigned herself to deal with the maddening consequences of her impulsive actions. Now, whether or not she dealt with them quietly, well that was another matter altogether.  </p>
<p>
  <em>Two can play this game — right? </em>
</p>
<p>“Arch your back more. And spread your legs more too.” </p>
<p>Air hissed out of her throat in a petulant sigh while she did as instructed, but apparently not fast enough, because a swift crack thundered across her ass again, jolting a half groan, half grunt out of her as she moved faster to comply. </p>
<p>She could practically <em>feel</em> the arrogant smirk forming on his — oh no wait, she <em>could</em> feel it, and that incensed her even more, realizing that she must have unwittingly cracked opened the door to her consciousness again.</p>
<p>She slammed it shut in return. </p>
<p>But every irritable and bitter thought was excised from her body the moment his tongue slid a teasing stripe through her dripping folds. She jerked at the unexpected feeling, then absolutely melted into the sensation of it, his lips on her cunt and his hands on her ass, gripping her fleshy cheeks to spread her wide to him.</p>
<p>“Ahh—!” </p>
<p>Her eyelids fluttered closed and her muffled squeals and moans sang into the mattress as his tongue traced a devastating path through her, circling enticingly around her opening, then dipping inside to fully taste her, causing her to push back against him ever so slightly, fucking herself on his tongue.</p>
<p>And then he moved on to her clit, eliciting a strangled cry from her throat as he licked and sucked at the sensitive nub, making her squirm into him even more. His mouth on her was an entirely new kind of heaven and hell, sending her into a delirious state of desperation, simultaneously living and dying with how much she needed him.</p>
<p>“Ben, oh fu—” she whispered, babbling his real name and other obscenities into the bed in between her long drawn out mewls and her moaning gasps. </p>
<p>He continued to lap at her, his unbelievable tongue alternating between pressing long, flat strokes and then flicking exquisitely across her swollen clit, driving her wild as the first sparks of an orgasm started to pulse throughout her core. His hands grasped her even tighter, steadying her. </p>
<p>There was a wistful part of her that wished she could see him, could look down at his handsome face in between her legs, to have his pretty eyes bore into hers as he sought her pleasure. But the other, more sensible part of her, was infinitely relieved that she couldn't. It would make it so much more real, to watch as she was actively ruined by this man. </p>
<p>Because she was — being <em>actively</em> and purposely, ruined by him. </p>
<p>She had no doubt that he was deliberately trying to make her regret not taking his hand. To make her regret not allowing this experience to play out honestly and naturally, with mutual consideration and equal power dynamics. </p>
<p>He was showing her what she could have had. </p>
<p>Unable to do anything about that now even if she wanted to, Rey pushed those distracting thoughts aside to focus once more on finding release, and relief.</p>
<p>She knew that no matter what he did to her she had no intention of willingly opening the bond again, even in the slightest amount, not with all the conflicting emotions now orbiting the precarious spaces of her heart. However, she was no longer under any delusions that he was going to lick her to completion, though maybe if she came fast enough, controlled her body’s responses and her hold on the bond well enough, her orgasm could slip by without him knowing. </p>
<p>She had given him all the power and control, and yet she found that attempting to steal it back was a thrilling game.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The first taste of her liquid heat on Kylo’s tongue was so heady, so overwhelming, that it took an exorbitant amount of willpower for him to not groan his satisfaction right into her needy little cunt. </p>
<p>She was by far the most mouthwateringly decadent luxury that he had ever allowed himself to indulge in. </p>
<p>Initially, he was unsure if this was something she would even permit, given her exasperating and vague stipulation for him to continue touching her, but the instant he saw her pussy bared to him, all pink and glistening, he knew it was only a matter of time before the carnal hunger inside of him would demand that he give in.</p>
<p>And not only did she allow it, but she wanted it, wanted <em>him. </em></p>
<p>All of her little satisfied sounds and pleasure-seeking movements, the way she was shifting and wriggling and trembling before him, were so intoxicating and rewarding that he found himself getting lost in them, needing more of them. </p>
<p>Needing more of her <em>wanting him. </em></p>
<p>As much as he could understand her selfish need to not let their confused feelings complicate this, he was selfish too, and he selfishly wanted to make sure that she knew what would be waiting for her should she ever choose to join him. How much he would worship at the altar of her pleasure. </p>
<p>A battle was unfolding in his psyche though, he had an objective here that he still wanted to reach: to get her to loosen the shield she had surrounding her side of the Force-bond. He would do whatever it took to achieve that, but now he was doubting which path to take to get there.</p>
<p>In the end, the decision was made for him.</p>
<p>A tangle of fragmented feelings sailed unknowingly from her consciousness into his, coasting along his thoughts delicately, and causing him to almost smile into her saturated cunt in between the slides and swirls of his tongue. </p>
<p><em>This</em> is what he had hoped for, that she would bridge the cosmic divide on her own, not because she felt forced to. But for now, Kylo held back from letting her feel his own emotions, knowing that it would distract her and probably startle her into retreat.</p>
<p>She would need to be eased into this. </p>
<p>He also was not above wanting to know her unguarded thoughts, to watch her with his mind’s eye as a silent voyeur. </p>
<p>It didn’t take long for his triumph to turn sour though, as he detected her mental efforts to hold back, to hide any signs from him of her impending climax. </p>
<p>
  <em>What a kriffing brat.</em>
</p>
<p>Kylo’s vexation with her returned immediately and in full force. If she was going to spite him by reaching ecstasy without letting him hear it or feel it, without letting him reap the spoils of it, well then he was going to spite her as well. </p>
<p>His Darkness, <em>not</em> his Light, was what she had wanted from him anyway. </p>
<p>He maintained his composure though, as well as his ministrations over her sensitive little bud, until the perfect moment. </p>
<p>Until she was so close. Right there. </p>
<p>Her breath hitched and her body tensed, but to her credit the changes were so subtle he wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for their connection. Tenuous as it was, he felt when the current from her end of the bond paused, like a note held before the explosion of a crescendo.</p>
<p><em>That</em> was when he pulled away.</p>
<p>He stood up on his knees behind her, but kept both of his hands firmly on her ass, wordlessly telling her who it belonged to right now. </p>
<p>“No!” she cried out, whining her frustrations into his black sheets.</p>
<p>“What?” He scoffed mockingly, taunting her. “You didn’t <em>really</em> think I’d let you come that way?”</p>
<p>She was up on her elbows now, her eyes sparking with red-hot indignation as her face turned back towards him. So he laughed openly at her, just to piss her off even more, to make her feel just as annoyed and let down as he was, all while wiping her juices from his lips and chin.</p>
<p>“Been wondering what that pussy tasted like,” he jeered, sucking the tip of his finger into his mouth, “Delicious.”</p>
<p>“Fuck you.”</p>
<p>“In due time, but why are you so upset, Rey? I’m just giving you what you asked for.”</p>
<p>She huffed and started to move into a sitting position. “That's not what I meant and you damn well—” </p>
<p>“I didn't tell you to get up.” His voice was starting to lose its calculated calm to match the storm of emotions clashing about inside him. “Put your head back down, before I shove it down.”</p>
<p>She dropped her face back into his bed with a growl, shouting her outrage into the mattress, a sound so reminiscent of those primal, furious war cries she’d let out in the throne room all those months ago. </p>
<p>And he loved it. His fiery, passionate, defiant girl. </p>
<p>Completely at his mercy.</p>
<p>He slapped her ass again, just because he could, then he leaned over to fist his fingers into her hair, pulling her back up onto all fours — right after he’d just chastised her for it. There was a cold fury in his black eyes as he met the volatile flames of her own darkened gaze, staring up from beneath him. His low voice shook as his lips brushed softly against her scalp.</p>
<p>“This is the side of me you wanted. Remember?” </p>
<p>Her nostrils flared. </p>
<p>
  <em>Good. </em>
</p>
<p>“And the only way you’re getting to come tonight is on my cock.”</p>
<p>He let go of her hair, but not forcefully, then lifted himself back up again. She stubbornly stayed in her position, up on her hands and knees, but she let her head sag as her torso heaved with loud, angry breaths.</p>
<p>“If I let you come at all.”</p>
<p>Her head lifted abruptly, widening the fracture in her mental barrier once again, sending a jumble of feelings hurtling towards him before another huff of irritation left her. </p>
<p>Kylo attempted to suppress the devious grin threatening to curl across his mouth at how easily she had believed his lie. Because there was no way he was going to let this encounter pass by without finding out what it felt like to have her cunt pulsating around him, without making sure she knew <em>exactly</em> how hard he could make her come.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“So, are you going to be good for me, Rey?” </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>She whimpered, but otherwise ignored his question.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> He grasped her waist tightly, eager to finally be inside of her, and so he punished her defiance by running the head of rigid shaft back and forth through her soaking wet center, teasing her, and then again over her tender clit in deliberate strokes to remind her who was in charge of her pleasure tonight. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Please,” she whined, pushing back against him, making him impossibly harder. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Listen to you. Face of the Resistance, begging Kylo Ren to fuck her.” </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>An almost imperceptible groan of shame, impatience, and overwhelming need for him tumbled from her lips, just as it also broke through her barely-held inner defenses to soar across the bond linking them. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>A bit recklessly, Kylo projected his own feelings to her in response. His fervent desire for her, but also his intention to appease her request despite how frustrating he found it. And then, because he just couldn't help himself, he sent her his satisfaction to be given her willing submission <em>and</em> that he gets to lord it over her, lest she give up this ridiculous charade. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>He sensed her shock first, along with her audible gasp, then a mixture of relief and aggravation. And then he sensed her clamour to close the bond, how difficult it was becoming each time for her. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>How much she wanted to keep it open, even just a little, but was too afraid. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Kylo in turn, had never felt so smug, so victorious before. It was an intense realization, the power he held over her no matter how much she pretended or  tried to fight it — because he had long since stopped trying to fight the spell she had over him.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Hold still,” he uttered, exhaling a shaky breath.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>With one hand firmly gripping her hip, the other aligned himself with her entrance. The scent of her filled his lungs just as he filled her cunt: torturously slow, but he didn’t stop until she was fully impaled on him, until his hips were flush with her backside, so round and soft against him.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>If he hadn't already been on his knees he would have fallen to them soon after. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Everything about her was perfect. All the noises she was making. How warm and wet, and especially how tight she was, despite how much arousal had been pouring out of her — her Force signature <em>as well</em> as her pussy. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>As if in a daze, he smoothed his hands up and down the sides of her and then watched himself thrust in and out languidly, feeling the infinitesimal tremors as her body adapted to him. He didn't mind letting her though, he was relishing every second of this, already wishing he never had to leave her.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Because he knew it was all over for him. Even if their Force-bond didn't exist, he would never belong to anyone else ever again. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the state of their Force-bond was indeed nonexistent at the moment, as she had succeeded in shutting him out of one part of her while he was too busy entering another. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Are you alri—”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Don’t.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Kylo took a deep breath in through his nose, annoyed that she had stopped him from checking to see if she was okay, but even more annoyed at himself for doing it in the first place. His compassion for her would always be his undoing. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>His weakness.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>He drew his cock back, almost to the tip, grimacing as he banished those haunted words from his mind for the thousandth time. Then his eyes swept over her small, gorgeous body, so delicate looking compared to his, no matter how tough she was physically or mentally, how strong she was in the Force. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>And then he slammed back into her, causing her scream of pleasure to ring out into the semi-darkness surrounding them, the stars outside his viewport an ethereal audience to their debauchery.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you liked this I'd be endlessly grateful for a kudos or comment!!  And if you’d like to follow me I can be found on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/Meli_Rochelle">Meli_Rochelle</a></p>
<p>My current WIP is <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373393/chapters/58783897#main">Follow the Blue Butterflies</a>  a Harry Potter/Wizarding World AU that I promise will update soon!</p>
<p>I also wrote a little 2 chapter fic with <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitegalaxies/pseuds/infinitegalaxies">infinitegalaxies</a> called <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27240196/chapters/66543502">carve it into my heart</a> a funny, fluffy, and smutty Neighbors AU.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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